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The iPhone is doomed because Apple Intelligence isn’t smart enough

The year is quickly running out but there is time enough for the Macalope to look at another survey from online used smartphone outlet SellCell.

What should we expect from this survey? Well, in 2022 SellCell said 40 percent of iPhone users were going to buy the iPhone SE, which is a tad high. Then, in 2023, it said Apple adding USB-C would tempt 44 percent of Android users to switch to the iPhone 15. Again, that seemed to wildly overestimate how many people might buy that phone. Or even how many people do the recommended full two minutes of brushing their teeth twice a day.

To be clear, the Macalope doesn’t doubt that people said the things that SellCell said they said. People say all kinds of wacky stuff. “I think I could win a fight with a bear.” “Pop Rocks killed that kid from the cereal commercial.” “I’m going to learn how to make Shakshouka.” Rod, you failed Instant Ramen 101. Which was a class you took at the community college. It is doubtful you will ever be able to make Shakshouka.

Anyway, just take it as a writ that surveys of buying intent are not worth the pixels on your screen that they appear on. No matter how crappy your monitor is.

Macalope

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That said, SellCell is back with another block-rocking beat that may just be the exception that proves the rule.

“iPhone vs. Samsung AI Survey: AI Features Fall Short: 73% of iPhone Users and 87% of Samsung Users Say They Add Little or No Value”

Speaking of rock-blocking beats, a number of times while the Macalope was writing this column he was calling the company “Soft Cell” in his head instead of “SellCell.” His writing is almost certainly “tainted” by his lack of “love” for AI, but the horny one is inclined to believe these numbers, which represent the broad consumer antipathy toward AI which is why we’re not seeing the much-ballyhooed supercycle in smartphone purchases this year.

If anything stands out as fatuous here it’s SoftCell’s over-generous comments about AI. (See, the Macalope called it “SoftCell” not “SellCell” there and you didn’t even notice.)

…the Artificial Intelligence (AI) era ushered in by OpenAI’s ChatGPT has fundamentally changed the way we interact with technology.

It really hasn’t. That’s exactly why no one cares about it. Read your own survey.

As for sample size, it’s not exactly huge.

The survey included more than 2000 smartphone users including 1000+ iPhone users with an AI-supported model…

Who are these 1,000 iPhone users? I didn’t elect them.

Among the most popular AI features are ‘Writing Tools’ (72%)…

The Macalope has a strong suspicion this is “most recognized” rather than, strictly speaking, “most popular,” but that’s probably what people said, sure. These survey results often have a real “Billy on the Street” vibe if you read them in a certain way.

“Oh, yeah, all the… AI and stuff. Yeah. Yeaaah, I know whatcha talkin’ ‘bout.”

iPhone users showed relatively higher interest in mobile AI than Samsung users as almost half (47.6 percent) of iPhone users reported AI features as a “very” or “somewhat” important deciding factor when buying a new phone, versus 23.7 percent of Samsung users who said the same.

The Macalope will just point out that AI could be an “important deciding factor” if you’re thinking “I would like to avoid phones with AI with all the vigor I use to avoid getting cornered by cousin Gus who makes his own IPAs and wants to talk about nothing but making his own IPAs at the family holiday party.”

The Macalope wonders if Soft… nope… SellCell used an AI to write up these survey results because in a section titled “1-in-6 iPhone users would switch brands for better AI” we see that the actual question appears to be “Would Galaxy AI features ever encourage you to switch from an iPhone?” The Macalope’s doctor frequently “encourages” him to get more exercise and drink less. Guess how much that’s worked.

Despite the fervent desires of venture capitalists, AI has so far not taken the world by storm. If Apple concentrated its AI efforts more on improving Siri, these survey results might turn around a bit.

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